Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Rose Lupin

I relish writing about poets who have causes that they consistently advocate for -- makes their human side more visible.  Rose Lupin has remained unsilenced with regards to her daily struggle with bipolar disorder II and overcoming adversity every day.  Rose is determined to be part of the solution to end the stigma that surrounds mental health illnesses.  And, moreover Rose utilizes all her emotions to construct delectable pieces of raw authentic expression.    

I'll be here
as I always am
waiting 
not patiently 
but waiting

And
when you 
come back 
we'll both 
pretend 
I wasn't ever 
Waiting
to begin with.  

Something delightfully playful about this piece -- I'd begin to imagine all the activities one can do while we wait steadfast for things to come to fruition.  I've never been the patient type -- I try to keep as busy as possible when I am waiting for something -- as expressed here “as I always am waiting not patiently but waiting.”  I remember one time, one of my friends became so frustrated with me and actually sent me a list of potential things I could do while I waited.  But, sometimes, patience is the last trait anyone wants to exhibit when something is coming up quickly upon the horizon.  

I'm broken.  Not that vague beautiful brokenness
we poets talk about when referring to “her.” I 
broken years ago when I miscarried twice in three
months.  I broke there on the bathroom floor.  I 
shattered into a million pieces as my blood 
swirled down the shower drain along with my 
tears.  Destroyed by grief.  I sealed it all up inside
me through.  I hit it well for months and years. 
But cracks formed over time and the days grew
darker and darker until I could not longer ever
pretend to function.  They say time heals all 
wounds but that's simply not true.  Something
more than the mere passage of time is needed.  
Something more than waiting it out.  I buried my 
sorrow hoping it would die but like a man being
buried alive it clawed its way back to the 
surface.  You can't kill sorrow.  You can only
embrace it, comfort it, and love it until you can 
make peace with it and welcome it into your
heart and build it a home there.  

The piece above clearly speaks about a very personal moment and the various coping methods Rose had utilized simply to try to function after two miscarriages in a three month time frame. I can't think of anything more awful than losing a baby.  Rose so bravely expresses herself amidst the powerful words above.   One thing for sure Rose is right about time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds -- there will always be that one or two specific incidents in your life that will completely rock your world from where recovery is nearly impossible. <3

Ribbons Over Soft Earth 

Twigs and branches 
litter the soft earth.  
Silence.
A woman's lost scarf
Tassels like ribbons lay.  
Dirty. 
Marking the ground
where the wind 
stopped 
to welcome the day.  

I relished the visual of this beautiful lusciously lost soft scarf against the texture of the cold harsh ground.  I have no idea but through my mind's eye, I'm envisioning a paisley purple scarf with perfectly poised almost macrame like knotted tassels.  I have to admit -- I love the contrast between the rough earth and this lost delicate scarf -- I wonder if the scarf were made of out angora -- if it would make our earth itchy as well. 

People tell me I'm 
beautiful like it 
means something. 
Leave the visual 
out of the equation.  
Tell me I'm loved.  
Tell me I am needed
wanted
something. 
Close your eyes
and tell me 
who I am.  

Beauty such as many things in life can be extremely subjective as everyone has their definition as to what is beautiful. Sometimes, we do not want to hear how beautiful we are -- where there is depth there is serious philosophical thought.  

How do you love me
through my crazy?
Why do you love me 
through my tears?
You love my damaged skin 
and my damaged soul. 
You love me 
as if I were whole.  

I am still a sucker for a healthy dose of love poetry... “You love my damaged skin and my damaged soul.  You love me as if I were whole.” I was captivated by this line right away -- an unbreakable promise. Funny, how when we find someone who loves us completely and accepts the way we are flaws and all is quite the powerful initiation of emotion. No matter what regardless of what pieces do not fit -- love with certainly completely close all barren crevices and replace it with warmth.